To all my trans-family across the world, you are not alone. Be true to the real you, even if takes decades to figure out who that is. 🏳️⚧️
Growing Up Girl
This project is for the 10 year old girl who still lives inside me, who spent 40 years hiding in her room crying or being sad because of all the missed moments and lost chances to exist. My poor, dearest girl Didi, I know we’re never going to get invited to a preteen slumber party to try on makeup and talk about ‘stuff.’ We never got the cute pink jumper under the Christmas tree, or had boys stumbling over their words trying to ask us out. We never made a sexy cosplay for a con even if we would have been fat and awkward in it. For these things, and all the times I couldn’t hear you and you were left so alone, you have every right to be sad.
But we have been able to get our body to develop at least some of the way towards what it is supposed to be, and have hopes for further affirming changes. We have been able to wear pretty dresses, and learned about makeup and how to make our hair look pretty. We have at least some of the shoes we wanted now, and plenty of soft nylons to wear whenever we want to without fear. We can still play with Barbie together, watch fun and silly girl films together, flirt with cute boys and pretty girls together, and talk together about how attractive Captain America is. And despite all the programming, and shame, and trauma we were given, despite all the people who said you cannot exist, we can reclaim those times when we made good memories of growing up girl.